EVERYDAY I’M GONNA BE SHUFFLIN’

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I always knew I didn’t have much upper body strength, but shoveling yesterday really took a lot out of me. I think I tend to avoid some arm workouts because of this. I don’t even feel like I did that much shoveling, maybe a couple hours worth. I’ve definitely done more than that in one sitting during other winters. I’m thinking it was due to the sheer quantity, since I’m not used to shoveling piles that are over 3′ deep. The snow drifts made the 2 feet of snow into 3+ feet.  Couldn’t the snow “drift” in another direction? RUDE. 

I’m going to see Marilyn Manson tonight. Looks like I’ll be shuffling around the next few days, my lower back is sore. I’ll probably fit right in, people will think I’m doing a killer Frankenstein impersonation.  I think I need to step up my work out routine though, so I’m better prepared for blizzard shoveling. Until then, I’m going to resemble the road kill guy from Beetlejuice. I’m also going to eat some more bananas, I think the potassium helps…as does lots of Tylenol. 

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THAT GUY FROM HOCUS POCUS!

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[photo] 1) Still from the movie Juno 2) Pizza and beer dinner 3) New nose ring 4) Our new banana stand (I refuse to take snow pictures this time) 5) For my viewing pleasure!

So as it turns out, the weather people actually under-exaggerated this storm. They also named it Juno. I think they need to stop naming storms after movies (or at all), unless it’s Mrs. Doubtfire or The Karate Kid. Anyway, I’ve been calling this one Storm Juno MacGuff (#StormJunoMacGuff #WTFMacGuff) for the past few days and really amusing myself with it.

The state started things off by causing mass hysteria before a flake even fell. I rolled my eyes at all the panic, and yelled at traffic from inside my car. I never get how people are unable to locate their gas pedals once a flake of snow falls. Snow and rain must wash away the motor skills required to push a gas pedal. I must be one of the lucky ones immune to this phenomenon, bad weather is business as usual around here. I got home in one piece, and they cancelled work. We also ordered pizza and bought beer last night. That is the only plus side of snow days, pizza and beer for dinner. 

The snow didn’t really start until later that night, hence why I thought all the panic was unnecessary. Then again, I’m a “see it to believe it” type. So my panic didn’t set in until this morning when my backyard resembled what being buried alive under an avalanche must seem like. I had to go out my front door in order to shovel out a path from the back door to the yard so my dog could poop without climbing Kilimanjaro.

Today I tried to do a bunch of chores that require electricity in case we lose it. These chores included buying more jewelry, shorts, tank tops, and a silver winter jacket (priorities, yo!). I also checked some work emails (I felt guilty for having a snow day). But since it’s still snowing and we’re getting even more, I may work from home tomorrow. I’m just glad I can chill now and watch Perfect Strangers (I’m avoiding the one where they get buried by snow in a cabin during a ski trip), and Eerie Indiana. I haven’t watched either DVD set in years, and forgot that Omri Katz from Hocus Pocus is in it. I used to have a crush on him back in the day. Anyway, I think I deserve a nap and maybe a snack? NAP SNACK!

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GUESS WHAT HAPPENS DURING THE WINTER IN NEW ENGLAND?

IT SNOWS! I don’t know why this is apparently new information for a lot of people, but it happens. It always has, and until this global warming shit hurries the hell up and gets here already, it will continue to do so for winters to come. So with that said, I don’t think we need a trending hashtag (#BOSSnow) on Twitter. It’s pretty redundant, like having one for air or something (#BOAir?). Maybe save the snow hashtags for when it snows in places it shouldn’t, like Florida. #FLOSnow, anyone?!

The way the media hypes things up has always gotten under my skin. I suspect they must get bonus checks from the grocery stores for creating unwarranted mass hysteria. “OMG, I don’t eat eggs, but a snow storm is coming so I’d better get the eggs that I won’t eat!”  At least they didn’t name the storm this time. I don’t get this trend of giving every type of precipitation (big or small) a name. There are articles that are calling the snow we’re getting “historic”. Um, really? Were you not alive in 2012 when we got pummeled by a snowstorm named after a fictitious gimpy clown fish? Believe me, I wish I wasn’t alive to witness Nemo in 2012. I thought I was going to lose my dog in the yard. But it turns out he is part landshark and swam through the snow banks like an Olympian set on fire. 

Anyway, I have no idea where people are getting this 3 feet of snow forecast from either. I’m no mathematician, but I don’t see how upwards of 26″ equals three feet. I’m still confused about that one. So, let’s shut the hell up and enjoy the snow day we will hopefully get out of it. I’m predicting this isn’t going to be as bad as they say it is, because I do the opposite of what the “meteorologists” predict. I’m also a “gotta see it to believe it” type. So let’s hope I don’t eat my words, haha!

Look closely, there is supposed to be a backyard in there, somewhere. NEMO 2012

Look closely, there is supposed to be a backyard in there, somewhere. NEMO 2012

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ALWAYS MONEY IN THE BANANA HAMMOCK?

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Some friends and I went to see the Chippendale’s last night. It was definitely way better than seeing Men in Motion in Vegas, that’s for sure! But the place was crazy! We opted for the general admission tickets, which means we had to stand in the back behind tall people. But for the most part, it wasn’t that bad. I guess I wasn’t anticipating how crazy we ladies get sometimes though. I found it funny how it was cold and snowy out, and some people were standing outside with no jacket wearing heels. I don’t think the Chippendale’s care if you we wear boots and a jacket, they get their ticket sales eitherway. You are also in a sea of women, so nobody around to impress. Haha! Regardless, I did wear some fake lashes and a sequin top. But I also wore a winter jacket and rain boots.

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After the show we had a Mexican food Thanksgiving feast at Sunset. It was really good!

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STORMING THROUGH THE LANES LIKE MY NAME WAS EL NINO

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I went out for a friend’s birthday last night and it was fun. We started things off at McGreevey’s and had some drinks. After we did some bowling and 4 person air hockey at King’s. Let me tell you, four person air hockey is intense!

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The food is pretty good at King’s. I got a salad and some tater tots. The tots look more like mini mozzarella sticks, but they were good! We waited a couple hours for a bowling lane to open, and ended up in the King Pin room. I shockingly did really good and got 3 strikes in one game. I’m pretty sure that has never happened to me in non  videogame bowling. I also tormented Andy all night by slipping Sum 41 lyrics into casual conversation. We actually both like Sum 41, but he was getting really annoyed with my antics. But I told him I’ll never fall in line and become another victim of your conformity,
and back down!

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DO, DO, DO, DO, DO YOU HAVE IT?!

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If you grew up during the “golden age of kids TV”, you probably remember the TV show GUTS on Nickelodeon. Like all kids that watched the show, I wanted to be on it more than anything. Because I thought being a Tomboy automatically made me a super athlete. News flash: it didn’t. But that didn’t stop this gal from dreaming. Anyway, The show was actually only on for a few years, but the re-runs were played for years and years to come. Which made it seem like it had been on forever. I doubt I cared or noticed that I always saw the same episodes over and over. 

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Anyway, this got me thinking. Wouldn’t it be awesome if I (or someone much more capable) started a gym that was based off the obstacle courses on the show?! There could be a huge Aggro Crag, with blinky lights, giant chunks of silver confetti streaming at you, and a British lady commentator? That is a gym I’d actually go to! Each membership could come with a piece of the crag! I mean, the gym probably couldn’t be called GUTS for legal reasons. But maybe a rip-off like “GUTZ!” and we could change the obstacles around slightly to avoid law suits by the Nickelodeon peoples. That would be a Kickstarter I could get behind! 

Who knows, if things go well, it could get expanded into Legends of the Hidden Temple with an Olmec. Except, we’d probably have to change his name to Olmac, and maybe his face could be a giant hamburger or something. Taunting people to look for hidden hamburger treasures! This facility could help make you into the complete package, brains and brawn! Because this show also had a trivia portion in order for each team to advance. Legends of the Hidden Hamburger Fitness Center (LOTHHFC) sounds like my kind of gym! I’d be on the Silver Snakes Sesame Seed Buns team. Now don’t steal my idea I stole from Nickelodeon, or no hidden hamburgers for you!

LOTHT

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SOUR GRAPES

Sometimes sports makes me angry, but usually only when it interferes with a team I like. Now, I don’t really understand why people hate Boston/New England sports so much. I mean, I get rivalries. For the longest time I hated the Yankees then I got over it, and now I couldn’t care less how much the Yankees win. Go fuckin’ Yankees, go win some stuff. I don’t care.

Anyway, that is beside the point. People must have a problem with teams that win, and that sounds like a personal problem. So toughen up and get over it! Or maybe there isn’t a real reason, sometimes there isn’t. Just like I don’t like the Cowboys. I don’t have a real reason. I guess it may have something to do with the time I was trying to catch my flight in the Dallas/Ft. Worth airport, and was stuck in a mess of old people riding in golf carts through terminals lined with shops selling only Cowboys memorabilia and nothing more. That could be why, but I’m not going to be an asshole about it and post articles that defame them.

This post is about the “deflate gate” BS and how people can’t just lose gracefully. Just nut up and get over it, you lost. Better luck next time! Use it as motivation to make yourself better for next season. Don’t try to make others look bad just because you didn’t win. Now I don’t know for sure what happened, but innocent until proven guilty.

But I think this article sums it up quite nicely. The Colts weren’t going to win regardless of the “underinflation”. Now I’m not condoning cheaters, I think you should win on your own abilities alone. I also think they should hire unbiased refs that know what the hell they are doing.

Let’s be serious for a second, pretty much all teams cheat in some way, and that’s horrible. It’s just that some get caught. Which sorta makes me think that this could be a set-up. Someone just trying to make The Patriots look bad over an arbitrary detail. Either way, don’t be an asshole about it. Your team didn’t win, get over it. Stop trying to ruin it for other people, I’ll try to extend the same curteousy when your team gets accused of cheating too. In the meantime, stop trying to piss on someone’s parade and move on!

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