My boyfriend decided it would be a good idea to co-host a backyard BBQ with our upstairs neighbors. Good thing nobody asked me first, my reply would have been “no thanks”. Having lived at home most of my life, hosting isn’t something I have a ton of experience with, or desire to do. When my parents took vacations, I never hosted parties there. I just didn’t feel like cleaning up after, figuring out what to do for food, and “activities”. Maybe the fact I lack the party-throwing gene makes me an ass, or unsocial. While I know I’m not unsocial, I just prefer going to a party rather than throwing one with random people. I don’t know if I can argue the not being an ass part.
Seeing as how I’m used to mostly attending parties, I feel there are major holes in hosting capabilities. I know I’m definitely not doing this alone, but I still have some anxiety towards it. I think it’s the lack of control and the fact I can’t leave my own party.
Will there be enough food? WILL EVERYONE BE BORED? What in the hell will we even talk about?! Will there be random people tramping through my apartment with their dirty sneakers? Will it rain (HOLY FUCK, I MAY DROP DEAD FROM ANXIETY IF IT RAINS AND I HAVE ALL THESE PEOPLE IN MY APARTMENT AND ONLY 5 CHAIRS!!)? Will someone accidentally leave the gate open so my dog can run away? Will someone throw up all over my bathroom? How long will it take me to clean my apartment on Sunday with a crazy hangover? Will a neighbor call the cops from the noise? Will the creepy douchenstein across the street invite himself over and take a large dump in my backyard (again)? Ugh, I’m so not cut-out for party hosting more than a handful of people.
I thought writing out this post would make me realize how ridiculous I sound, but I’ve successfully made myself feel worse. High five, team self! Hopefully I’ll survive this fiasco without rain, shit, and vomit everywhere. Am I asking too much? Even if I do make it through, please don’t ask me to host your friends cousins next “Doggie Comes Out of the Closet” party.
Is it too late to retract my RSVP?