Category Archives: annoyances

April 9, 2013 · 12:04 PM

BOILING BOILERS AND CRAZY HATS

I guess you should be careful what you wish for, or complain about. I noticed our heat stopped working a few days ago. I tried to play around with the thermostat and boiler switch but nothing worked. I had to call my Landlord (dad) to see if he could fix the problem, I told him not to rush as it’s supposed to be 70 out anyway. He stopped by while I was at work, when I opened my front door a gust of hot air slapped me in the face. He turned the thermostat to 50, but the heat didn’t shut off! I fiddled with it for 5 minutes and couldn’t get to turn off. I had to shut the emergency switch on my boiler.

My poor pup must have been hot in my 90 degree apartment all afternoon! He seemed okay though when I got in, my poor baby! The plumber came by about an hour after I called and he didn’t have the part on him to fix it that night, but at this point I was content with not having heat until next October! I really hope when I get home tonight, my apartment can be a normal temperature. As much as I wanted the warmer temps, I’ll pass on a boiling apartment!

I have Marathon Monday off, so I’m hoping the weather will be warm (BUT NOT TOO WARM!) so we can enjoy our walk down and beers along the marathon route. I hope I see a lot of runners with crazy hats because that was what I enjoyed most watching the marathon as a kid.

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March 14, 2013 · 8:43 AM

CHATTY CATHY

I had to get a filling re-filled at the dentist the other day. I’ve been rescheduling this appointment for over 6 weeks now and decided to finally show up. The main reason I had been avoiding it is I hate driving there! The office is far from where I live now, but was convenient when I was at home. Plus, it’s a pain to get into work earlier so I can leave earlier to make it to my appointment. 

After illegally parallel parking my car in a “permit only….until 5pm” spot, I went in. I was greeted by an overly-perky hygienist assistant. o_O Okay, I thought maybe she would lead me to my seat-contraption and leave me stare at the popcorn ceiling.Oh no, dear diary that would be too easy for someone that had been up since 5am! She asked me a shit-ton of questions about work where I lived…etc. Of course she wasn’t from the area and had never heard of any of the cities I spoke of. She then proceeded to ask where these places are, and I’m just like can you look at a map and let me continue to stare at this interesting ceiling?! I pretended the Novocaine was impairing my speech and an awkward silence ensued. Thankfully,  some gracious person pulled her from my section to badger some other  patient with a little game of “10, 000 questions you should ask a cranky stranger”. 

My dentist came in to start the procedure since my face was nice and numb. Chatty-Cathy was the official water-squirter and dryer-lady of my appointment slot, of course! It was through the incessant questions to the doctor, that I found she was only a temp. PRAISE JEBUS! I thought I was going to have to find a new dentist there for a minute. During the 25 minutes of getting my filling redone, I found out many interesting things about C-C which I will put into bullet points.

  • She drives her kids to NYC on the weekends to audition for commercials and/or movies.
  • She had never heard of Les Misérables, other than she thinks her daughter auditioned for the part of Cosette…or the “little blonde girl” as she put it.
  • Until I told her, never knew Les Misérables is actually a book written in the 1800s’.
  • She had also never heard of the show “Modern Family”.
  • She doesn’t have cable.  
  • She is new to the area.
  • She has never heard of any of the local towns and or cities surrounding my dentist.
  • Her daughter auditioned for a GAP ad, but she was too pretty for it.

At long last, the torture was over and I could go back home with a numb face and brain to match. She was a very nice woman, but I don’t like being tossed billions of questions during a dental procedure.  Lucky for her, my dentist is a very patient guy and answered all her questions, I was relieved to get the Eff outta there. I was also glad that I didn’t get a ticket for parking in a permit zone. There must be a lesson in there somewhere, and it’s probably to find a new dentist or let my teeth rot. 

  

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February 15, 2013 · 7:15 AM

BLIZZARDIC PARK: THE LOST WEEKEND

Pardon the cheesy blog post title from a movie I haven’t seen since 1994 1997, and don’t remember anything about. I’m sure many of you have heard about this crazy ass snow storm that clobbered the living fuck out of the east coast last weekend? If not, good for you. Like all storms, I generally take what the meteorologists say with a grain Krusty O’s. 

But I’m a huge chicken when it comes to snow storms, so I worked from home on Friday. Good thing I did because much to my surprise, it actually did start snowing. I didn’t think it was going to be all that bad though, but I kept up with shoveling the back area because it’s surrounded by a fence and concrete wall. I woke up Saturday morning to let Zorro out. This happened:

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I had no idea how to react other than shouting “what in ACTUAL fuck?” aloud to myself. I then proceeded to be the world’s crappiest girlfriend, and woke Andy with my panic about how to get the dog out and if he thinks we have enough dish soap to last us the weekend. Yup.

He shoveled out the front door and made a path to through the back so we wouldn’t lose Zorro in a 4′ snow bank. I don’t know why I was so worried he would drown, he is half Siberian Husky after all. He cut through the snow banks like a freakin’ dolphin escaping tuna fishermen. I fell in a snow bank and he “saved” me by licking my face. Worst snow fake-rescue dog ever!

Normally our area is pretty well plowed. Apparently they forgot all about us, since it actually ya know, snowed a lot. Weird, I know! Also, my neighbors are morons who threw snow onto the street. I submitted a claim to have our street plowed, once Saturday afternoon rolled around and I ran out of things to do that involved not leaving the couch. They didn’t actually plow until Sunday. I was so mad! I’m so grateful to have snow pants because we got stir-crazy Saturday night and walked down the area where the bars are.

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I actually had to work from home on Monday again because they did the worst plow-job ever on my street. We also had a giant-ass snow bank blocking our driveway that we needed to kill. I decided to be “that guy” and submit another claim to have our street plowed. I figured it couldn’t hurt, they actually did come back and do another pass…on TUESDAY after I got home from work. Oh, Boston! 

During my weekend of pretend agoraphobia, I did get some stuff done. After being with the same car insurance company since I was 16, I decided to switch. I also became addicted to the Simpsons version of The Sims called, Tapped Out. I know you’re all jealous of my Krusty Burger and Jebediah Springfield statue! I also did not win a TV over the weekend from my nephews school raffle. What the heck man?! I needed to win it for Andy so it could be his Christmas gift for the next 7 years. Oh well…

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January 2, 2013 · 1:59 PM

GIRAFFES AND THE PROPER WAY TO EAT A CANDY CANE

I’m sad to be back at work after 11 days off. I had a great time over the holidays, which is why I’ve blogged zero times. Oops! I’ll try to remember to do a NYE recap at least. I’m sure everyone is falling off their seats to hear about that. *cough* Anyway, since I was off for so long, I threw off my sleep schedule.

Taking advice from a friend with mild insomnia, I tried Melatonin. Sometimes when I have trouble sleeping, I’ll just take Benadryl. This time, I wanted to try something new. Melatonin was a freaking experience, and not a restful one. It actually kinda bothered my stomach a little bit. I couldn’t fall asleep for a good hour and a half due to a little stomach pain (okay, I admit to eating SpongeBob mac and cheese for dinner that night). Once that was over, I was feeling hyper. I couldn’t sleep because any sound made my heart race. 

Once on the fringes of sleep, I experienced very vivid dreams and random thoughts. I remember thinking about giraffes, serial killers, venomous snakes, and rescuing dogs and keeping them in an abandoned home. Seriously? Normally I don’t have adverse reactions to PM cold medicine or Advil. It reminded me of the first time I took Claritin years ago (before they changed their formula), and felt like I was on crack. 

In unrelated news, I’ve been eating candy canes wrong my whole life. I always want to eat them hook side first. You should really eat them from the bottom. So much easier! So glad this lack of sleep is helping me eat candy properly.

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November 14, 2012 · 9:00 AM

HOW ABOUT A FREEUNION INSTEAD?

I’ve been wondering for the past couple of months when my 10-year (TEN YEAR) high school reunion would be. I figured I would get something on Facebook or in the mail. Nope, neither. Finally getting the better of my non-existent short-term memory, I remembered to Google it the other night. It turns out we do have a reunion planned, and for a mere $75 (SEVENTY-FIVE DOLLARS), I can be crammed into a painfully trendy bar with people I didn’t care enough about to keep in touch with. Sounds awesome, right? *crickets*

Thing is, I had no problem the other night spending definitely more that $75 on some new Coach bags (ON SALE). Yet, spending $75 on a reunion ticket just seemed ludicrous. I texted Ginny upon my Googled discovery. I had to see if it was only me that thought $75 was outrageous. Thank goodness for BFF’s, she agreed. Instead we’re just going to pick a bar in our hometown and send FB invites to people we like that we graduated with. How much will this endeavor cost? That all depends on how much cheap beer we plan to drink. Problem solved! 

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November 2, 2012 · 1:23 PM

I’LL NEVER AUDTION FOR WEST SIDE STORY, AND HOW TO SURVIVE A HURRICANE

I’m sad that Halloween is over as it’s one of my favorite holidays! Andy and I had a great time at the parties we went to last Saturday. Despite the fact I’m not a fan of going to bars on Halloween, I had a good time with my friends. 

We got hit with this “Frankenstorm” on Monday. I’m grateful we just got a lot of rain and no damage  I feel for the people that did suffer damage and hope they are okay! I worked from home on Monday and we got a delayed start to Tuesday. We didn’t lose power. We spent most of the time playing scattergories and drinking pumpkin beers with our neighbors. We also thought it was a good idea to go play football in the downpour. I think I was the only one that didn’t get soaked because of my trusty Goretex jacket and high Hunter boots! 

I also found out some tragic news yesterday, I can’t snap my fingers. I was waiting for the microwave to heat up my cheese wheels. A co-worker was pretending to get antsy, and kept snapping his fingers. I gave my feeble attempt at snapping, and was swiftly jeered at. I can (sort-of) snap with my left hand, but I had a band-aid on  from my biometric screening at the health fair. But basically, I can’t snap my fingers people! This means I can never audition for West Side Story. WHAT WILL I DO WITH MY LIFE! I CAN NEVER BE A SHARK OR JET GIRL! 

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October 17, 2012 · 8:40 AM

ASSHOLES AND EARTHQUAKES

I think I need to “see other people” in regards to my relationship with Facebook. I’m just sick of politics! It’s a topic I don’t like to discuss, mostly because my opinions  greatly differ from the majority of people my age. I also don’t like to argue with people over things we have no control over. I get that people are passionate about their views, but don’t agree with their views being shoved down my throat.

Guess what? I don’t give a flying fig if you’re republican, democrat, Episcopalian  independent, or insane. You won’t convert me, stop trying. In the same respect, I won’t try to convert people. At the end of the day, I don’t care if someone agrees with me.  It’s great that some people care so much! If you think you can make a difference, please go right ahead. I might sign your petition or help your cause.  For me, it takes too much energy to get invested in something that you can’t control. I keep myself educated and when the time comes, I vote for the lesser of two evils. I like the option of choosing a candidate from whatever party. I don’t want to be pigeon-holed into one category. There are things I like within each party and things I’m vehemently against. I will never find a perfect fit and I don’t expect it.

Politicians are all a bunch of assholes that think they know what is best for you anyway.  They don’t know you! To be fair, no person in office will ever make decisions that everybody agrees with. I used to get angry, but it takes a lot to hate something you can’t change. The best I can do is wait to the end of term, and hope the country or state isn’t up in flames. 

Oh yes, apparently there was an earthquake in the sticks of Maine last night (to be honest, every place in Maine is the sticks). I was on the couch and thought my dog was pawing at it. I was about to tell him to stop, when I realized he was at the front door. I turned to my boyfriend and asked if he felt that. He confirmed, and we went to the basement to be sure the boiler didn’t explode. Our neighbors also asked if we felt the house shake. We then decided to wait a few minutes and check the news to see if it was an earthquake. This is the second earthquake I’ve felt in a year or so. Dear Earth, please stop shaking! My poor dog thinks he is responsible!

Earthquake devistation!

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October 10, 2012 · 8:29 AM

PARTY ROCK IN DA HOUSE/SHITTY MOVIE INTERVENTION

The next remaining weekends of October will be jam packed with parties. This should be interesting! As a matter of fact, the Saturday before Halloween I have three parties in the same night. I will probably only end up going to one or two. The good news is that I finished my costume this weekend. I’m going to keep it under wraps until we get closer to Halloween. Since I’m too lazy to actually make a costume, a lot of the time I’ll buy one and re-purpose it into a different costume. Like the time I was Alice in Chains by wearing an Alice in Wonderland costume with chain accessories. This time, it’s a bit more involved than just adding chains! But I will say the costume will be transformed from the Tin (wo)Man.

I don’t have any Halloween decorations up, I’m not sure if I will. I’ve been too lazy to make a trip to the Christmas Tree Shop  or the Job Lot for bargain decorations. There aren’t even any kids in my neighborhood so I don’t think I’ll buy candy. Okay, so I’ll probably buy candy and eat it all on my couch.

I love Halloween!

Oh yeah, I finally watched Dark Shadows  and was disappointed. I’ve been picking really shitty movies to rent lately. I think I need a shitty movie intervention.

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October 4, 2012 · 8:25 AM

A LITTLE OUT OF IT?

If you know me well, then you’re aware I’m not a morning person…AT ALL. Morning is like a school bully, always there when you don’t need them. He uses his little toady the “alarm clock” to fuck with you. Morning and Alarm Clock are like a bad STD, just so darn hard to get rid of! This morning, I hit snooze and fell back asleep. Of course the ass-hat Alarm Clock wakes me up again. I tucked and rolled out of bed.

I tried to shower but I was so tired I may have washed myself twice because I couldn’t remember if I had done it the first time, or just got the loofah wet.  I exit the shower and remember to wrap my hair in a towel then start to put on face cream. I was fixing to wipe excess face cream on my robe, when I realized I never even put it on. Seriously, how does one forget to put on a robe?! At least I remembered to put on all articles of clothing before leaving the house!

Tomorrow I’m working from home, so at least I’ll be able to sleep an extra hour or work in the nude in peace.

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April 18, 2012 · 11:58 AM

HEY NEIGHBOR, I HAVE AN IDEA! LET’S NOT PLAY NIGHT CRAWLERS AT 3AM EVERY WEEKNIGHT AND 6AM ON WEEKENDS!

Sound good? Thanks, I thought you would agree! But seriously though, the walls are thin. I can hear you pacing around your room at 3AM on weeknights and 6AM on weekends. Can you please wear socks or consider the awesomeness of wall to wall carpeting? I don’t actually think wall to wall carpeting is awesome, I wouldn’t want it. But I do want it for you, pal. Please? I’m very much not looking forward to asking you, or one of your roomies, to keep it down at 3AM. I NEED SLEEP!

On a side note, why the hell are you up at 6AM on weekend? More importantly, WHY IS THERE EVEN A 6AM ON WEEKENDS?!

I’m heading down to lunch soon and will drink an entire liter of Pepsi to revive myself. I have a bag full of clothes for the Swapaholics event tonight, i hope I don’t end up using it as a pillow.
EDIT: Here is a shitty YouTube video. So you too can now learn to play Night Crawlers

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