Category Archives: dreams

GIRAFFES AND THE PROPER WAY TO EAT A CANDY CANE

I’m sad to be back at work after 11 days off. I had a great time over the holidays, which is why I’ve blogged zero times. Oops! I’ll try to remember to do a NYE recap at least. I’m sure everyone is falling off their seats to hear about that. *cough* Anyway, since I was off for so long, I threw off my sleep schedule.

Taking advice from a friend with mild insomnia, I tried Melatonin. Sometimes when I have trouble sleeping, I’ll just take Benadryl. This time, I wanted to try something new. Melatonin was a freaking experience, and not a restful one. It actually kinda bothered my stomach a little bit. I couldn’t fall asleep for a good hour and a half due to a little stomach pain (okay, I admit to eating SpongeBob mac and cheese for dinner that night). Once that was over, I was feeling hyper. I couldn’t sleep because any sound made my heart race. 

Once on the fringes of sleep, I experienced very vivid dreams and random thoughts. I remember thinking about giraffes, serial killers, venomous snakes, and rescuing dogs and keeping them in an abandoned home. Seriously? Normally I don’t have adverse reactions to PM cold medicine or Advil. It reminded me of the first time I took Claritin years ago (before they changed their formula), and felt like I was on crack. 

In unrelated news, I’ve been eating candy canes wrong my whole life. I always want to eat them hook side first. You should really eat them from the bottom. So much easier! So glad this lack of sleep is helping me eat candy properly.

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Filed under annoyances, dog, dreams, funny, random

TEN ON TUESDAY

Thanks, Chelsea!

1. What did you get for Christmas?
A big, new, beautiful TV! I also got Big Buck Hunter viscious animals edition, money, and gift cards. Big Buck Hunter freaks me out because I keep getting attacked by bears and wolves. I’m afraid to kill the wolves in case it’s Jacob. ;)

2. Have you taken down your Christmas decorations?
No, too lazy.

3. What did you do for New Years Eve?
I put hair flairz in. Nothing like having glittery hair!

4. Do you like accents?
Certain ones. Rhode Island accents annoy me, as does a lot of things about Rhode Island. I digress. I just don’t like how they say sauce, it’s not New England at all. LEARN HOW TO SAY “SAUCE” CORRECTLY! It’s sauce, not sauwwwce.

5. What kind of television do you have?
Sharp, I had a Dynex that worked for exactly 5 hours after purchase. After I went through all the trouble of going to the store, dragging it to/from my car alone, unpacking it, setting it up, and even PROGRAMMING MY CABLE REMOTE. It fucking crapped out. I was livid! Thankfully my BF offered to help me haul it back to the store to get a different TV.

6. Did you make any changes at the beginning of 2012?
No. I’d like to try to bring lunch to work more and continue to work out 5 days a week. I also need to learn the Napolean Dynamite dance as my 2012 goal, since I pretty much (pretty much) learned how to play Axel F for 2011. I play it pretty badly, but I need to practice more.

7. What’s the last book you read and do you recommend it?
I read Dear Me: A Letter to My Sixteen-Year-Old Self. It’s a quick read. It contains a bunch of letters written by celebrities to their 16-year-old self. I would definitely recommend it, just don’t get it for an e-reader unless you have an iPad or Kindle Fire. It’s hard to read on a normal Kindle, so I had to use my iPad.

8. Do you stay current on celebrity gossip?
Not really, they don’t care about me and vice-versa.

9. Do you know the words to Bohemian Rhapsody? Gangstas Paradise? Fresh Prince of Bel-Air?
ALL OF THE ABOVE!

10. What is your favorite educational television show?
Seasame Street!

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Filed under dreams, fun, funny

LOST IN DREAMLAND

My apologies about another dream post, blame the interwebz for it’s lack of creativity with my spam messages these days.

Anyway, I will tell you what I remember from my dream. I recall being lost in the woods and yelling for help, then my internal alarm clock sort of woke me up. I thought I saw a cheesy sheet ghost floating near me in bed, and while I tried to attack it or scream (I could do neither-of course) it WINKED at me with it’s evil grin! Once I started to wake up a bit more and my eyes came into focus, the ghost was my leg resting upright. MY LEG! Good thing I didn’t go Ricky Bobby and stab my leg with a knife, or think I was on fire.

 

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ADVERBS?

I guess this blog is slowly turning itself from spam messages to dream messages. I had an interesting dream last night. The snippet I fondly remember, was a bunch of teens knocking on my window demanding a definition of an adverb. Yes, an adverb. Shockingly, I knew what it was in my dream. Think I can remember this shit while awake? No.

But at least this has prepared me for encounters with teens that have an insatiable hunger for grammatical knowledge.

 

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I’M NOT MCLOVIN

Over the weekend I had an odd dream about getting a fake ID. Granted, I’m 25 and have no use for a fake ID… unless I wanted to make myself younger? Anyway, I had to be 26 for something and didn’t want to wait a month until my birthday. I went to the Hallmark store, where a young clerk would “hook me up” with a fake ID. I thought it would be like $50-75 for an ID. I waited around and got my terrible looking fake ID. I yelled at the kid and he remade it for me. IT LOOKED WORSE! First off, it was a bit larger than a normal ID and in black and white! This kid had the nerve to try and charge me $250 for this “masterpiece”. I said fuck no, and walked out.

Speaking of my actual birthday, I can’t decide between Maine or booking a stay at Foxwoods.

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BORING DREAMS?

I kept waking up last night. Not because I was having nightmares, or had too much caffeine, my dreams were just too boring. Yes, boring. Nothing entertaining enough to keep me from waking.

I hope my subconscious has something better lined up for me tonight. Perhaps Joan sleeps with Fernando while she is pregnant with Steve’s part-wolverine baby…and nobody is aware that Fernando is a video game character that smokes crack like a mother fucker. Also, Fernando doesn’t realize that Steve (his crack dealer) is married to Joan and has Super A.I.D’s.

I won’t want to wake up from this saga!

 

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