My BFF is going through a tough time right now. We hung out last weekend, and while I was fist-pumping to MC Hammer in the car, she said it was the first time she smiled in a long time. We then proceeded to Wal Mart to purchase various craft items. I walked out with some gimp and beads!  We also stopped for ice cream in 15ºF weather[/edit] Once our craft items were arranged, we then transported ourselves to a fictitious summer camp in 1995, where we created assorted friendship bracelets.
I made two “Cobra Kai” bracelets and wish I had the foresight to buy letter beads. I could have further enhanced them with key phrases like “sweep the leg” and “Cobra Kai never dies.” It’s on the list for next time.
Fear not my friends, I did spend the rest of the weekend doing grown-up activities, like drinking beer and eating fast food at 3am.
- Bought NKOTBSB Fenway tickets, already have tickets to Garden show.
- Harbors no shame/remorse for loving NKOTBSB.
- Saw Green Hornet, and witnessed a group of 10 year old boys having a Justin Keebler dance party 2 rows back. Movie sucks about as much as Justin Keebler. I may only wish it upon worst enemy, Justin Keebler.
- Saturday morning, went running while watching ”I Love Lucy” marathon on the Hallmark channel.
- Saturday evening, ordered delivery due to extreme laziness.
- Applied makeup and contacts while watching “How I Met Your Mother”.
- Watched half hour of “Philadelphia”.
- Decided I like Bruce Springsteen.
- Fell asleep, with contacts in…oops!
- Didn’t end up going out because I fell asleep…oops!
- Feels like an asshole because I fell asleep…oops!
- Watched The Vanilla Ice Project.
- Took out contacts and washed off makeup remnants.
- Fell asleep again…
- Woke up and watched “Valentine’s Day”.
- Skipped through half of movie because DVD kept freezing.
- DVD may have froze because I dropped it before putting into DVD player…oops!
- Overall, enjoyed “Valentine’s Day”.
- 7:30am, woke up.
- More sleep attempted.
- Odd dream about swimming pools, skanks, and sharks occurred.
- Sleep attempts futile
- 11am, rolled out of bed.
- Ate French toast…oui, oui!
- Downloaded Bruce Springsteen’s Greatest Hits.
- May have ordered some dresses online, when trying to save money…oops!
- Apologized profusely to boyfriend for ditching him last night.
- Will pretend tonight is Saturday and head out with him…
- Typed post while incorporating “oops” several times.
This is what happens when everyone has too much Flying Dog at a party, and Mad Libs is played:
“I can’t stop thinking about your burns, the way you wear your rape, the way you toss your pussy.”
“My navel skipped a beat, my armpit was in my throat, and my side boobtrembled so much, I could hardly fondle your priest. What you said set my childon fire”
“Over 8675309% of Americans walk our gay streets with a hand-held Bag-O-Dicks pressed against their face. “
“This is a surprise party for Matt…
Russ bought her a beautiful copper dick that she can wear on her lovely beard. And our hostess got her a dozen penises“
I laughed so hard I lost my voice!