Tag Archives: saturday

JUST A TYPICAL SATURDAY NIGHT…FOR AN ELEVEN YEAR OLD

My BFF is going through a tough time right now. We hung out last weekend, and while I was fist-pumping to MC Hammer in the car, she said it was the first time she smiled in a long time. We then proceeded to Wal Mart to purchase various craft items. I walked out with some gimp and beads! [edit] We also stopped for ice cream in 15ºF weather[/edit] Once our craft items were arranged, we then transported ourselves to a fictitious summer camp  in 1995, where we created assorted friendship bracelets.

I made two “Cobra Kai” bracelets and wish I had the foresight to buy letter beads. I could have further enhanced them with key phrases like “sweep the leg” and “Cobra Kai never dies.” It’s on the list for next time.

Fear not my friends, I did spend the rest of the weekend doing grown-up activities, like drinking beer and eating fast food at 3am.


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MY WEEKEND….OOPS!

  • Bought NKOTBSB Fenway tickets,  already have tickets to Garden show.
  • Harbors no shame/remorse for loving NKOTBSB.
  • Saw Green Hornet, and witnessed a group of 10 year old boys having a Justin Keebler dance party 2 rows back. Movie sucks about as much as Justin Keebler. I may only wish it upon worst enemy, Justin Keebler.
  • Saturday morning, went running while watching  ”I Love Lucy” marathon on the Hallmark channel.
  • Saturday evening, ordered delivery due to extreme laziness.
  • Applied makeup and contacts while watching “How I Met Your Mother”.
  • Watched half hour of “Philadelphia”.
  • Decided I like Bruce Springsteen.
  • Fell asleep, with contacts in…oops!
  • Didn’t end up going out because I fell asleep…oops!
  • Feels like an asshole because I fell asleep…oops!
  • Watched The Vanilla Ice Project.
  • Took out contacts and washed off makeup remnants.
  • Fell asleep again…
  • Woke up and watched “Valentine’s Day”.
  • Skipped through half of movie because DVD kept freezing.
  • DVD may have froze because I dropped it before putting into DVD player…oops!
  • Overall, enjoyed “Valentine’s Day”.
  • 7:30am, woke up.
  • More sleep attempted.
  • Odd dream about swimming pools, skanks, and sharks occurred.
  • Sleep attempts  futile
  • 11am, rolled out of bed.
  • Ate French toast…oui, oui!
  • Downloaded Bruce Springsteen’s Greatest Hits.
  • May have ordered some dresses online, when trying to save money…oops!
  • Apologized profusely to boyfriend for ditching him last night.
  • Will pretend tonight is Saturday and head out with him…
  • Typed post while incorporating “oops” several times.

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MANGO MARGARITAS AND A MAD LIB MEDLEY

This is what happens when everyone has too much Flying Dog at a party, and Mad Libs is played:

LOVE LETTER

“I can’t stop thinking about your burns, the way you wear your rape, the way you toss your pussy.”

“My navel skipped a beat, my armpit was in my throat, and my side boobtrembled so much, I could hardly fondle your priest. What you said set my childon fire”

CELLULAR PHONES

“Over 8675309% of Americans walk our gay streets with a hand-held Bag-O-Dicks pressed against their face. “

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

“This is a surprise party for Matt

Russ bought her a beautiful copper dick that she can wear on her lovely beard. And our hostess got her a dozen penises

I laughed so hard I lost my voice!

 

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