Pardon the cheesy blog post title from a movie I haven’t seen since
1994 1997, and don’t remember anything about. I’m sure many of you have heard about this crazy ass snow storm that clobbered the living fuck out of the east coast last weekend? If not, good for you. Like all storms, I generally take what the meteorologists say with a grain Krusty O’s.
But I’m a huge chicken when it comes to snow storms, so I worked from home on Friday. Good thing I did because much to my surprise, it actually did start snowing. I didn’t think it was going to be all that bad though, but I kept up with shoveling the back area because it’s surrounded by a fence and concrete wall. I woke up Saturday morning to let Zorro out. This happened:
I had no idea how to react other than shouting “what in ACTUAL fuck?” aloud to myself. I then proceeded to be the world’s crappiest girlfriend, and woke Andy with my panic about how to get the dog out and if he thinks we have enough dish soap to last us the weekend. Yup.
He shoveled out the front door and made a path to through the back so we wouldn’t lose Zorro in a 4′ snow bank. I don’t know why I was so worried he would drown, he is half Siberian Husky after all. He cut through the snow banks like a freakin’ dolphin escaping tuna fishermen. I fell in a snow bank and he “saved” me by licking my face. Worst snow fake-rescue dog ever!
Normally our area is pretty well plowed. Apparently they forgot all about us, since it actually ya know, snowed a lot. Weird, I know! Also, my neighbors are morons who threw snow onto the street. I submitted a claim to have our street plowed, once Saturday afternoon rolled around and I ran out of things to do that involved not leaving the couch. They didn’t actually plow until Sunday. I was so mad! I’m so grateful to have snow pants because we got stir-crazy Saturday night and walked down the area where the bars are.
I actually had to work from home on Monday again because they did the worst plow-job ever on my street. We also had a giant-ass snow bank blocking our driveway that we needed to kill. I decided to be “that guy” and submit another claim to have our street plowed. I figured it couldn’t hurt, they actually did come back and do another pass…on TUESDAY after I got home from work. Oh, Boston!
During my weekend of pretend agoraphobia, I did get some stuff done. After being with the same car insurance company since I was 16, I decided to switch. I also became addicted to the Simpsons version of The Sims called, Tapped Out. I know you’re all jealous of my Krusty Burger and Jebediah Springfield statue! I also did not win a TV over the weekend from my nephews school raffle. What the heck man?! I needed to win it for Andy so it could be his Christmas gift for the next 7 years. Oh well…
I decided to cut back on my coffee intake. Actually, my laziness decided this for me. I was too lazy to buy more, I admit it. I mean it’s like way to much effort to go to the store and buy my life blood. Instead, I’ve been subjecting myself to replacing coffee with tea. I might have cheated on Saturday by having an iced coffee. Incidentally, I’m one of those people that hates hot coffee so I drink iced coffee year-round. Also, Saturday was the day it SNOWED. Fucking snowed, to be more precise. The most dreaded form of precipitation, it’s too early for this shit. Anyway, I’m digressing here a little bit.
Tea wasn’t doing anything for me. I came to this startling realization, not at my desk, but at 6am this morning. My head was pounding so badly, it infiltrated my dreams. MY SACRED DREAM SPACE! I spent most of my dream on a magical journey to find the Advil. I realized my journey hadn’t quite ended, when Sting rudely stirred me awake by “sending out an SOS” via my alarm clock. I blurted out a “fuck this”, and got myself some coffee ASAP. Well played caffeine addiction, well played!
EDIT: I still need to post about my birthday and Halloween. I’ll get there (eventually)
In a meager attempt to shed light on the fact that it’s Monday and I’ve been stricken down with a bout crankiness stemming from sleep deprivation, I’m going to post a “positive” spin to my predicaments. I was going to title this, “Mrs. Brightside” until I remembered that I fucking hate The Killers.
- It’s Monday. => You can go home in 4 hours.
- Yeah, but I still have to sit through a 3 hour meeting => You’re getting paid at least. Unlike sitting through a 3hr film strip on the Maturation Process of Sperm Whales in 10th grade bio!
- It’s still Monday and I have fun things to do this weekend, like a birthday party, getting taxes done for moneyz, AND awesome Vday dinner at the Japanese steakhouse in Cambridge ! => Since you have been sleep deprived/cranky, go to bed super early this week to make the time go by faster! BONUS: In sleep you’re a Viking!
- I don’t know which dress to wear for Vday dinner! Indecision plagues me!=> Play pin the tail on the dressey
- It’s going to fucking snow for the 200th time in 2011 tomorrow => You can wear the spiffy boots you won.
- I may die since I suck at driving in snow=> You may not die?
- Fine, then what if I get into an accident since I suck at driving in snow? => You have insurance and can get a monster truck that will make the snow piss it’s pants, pick it self up, and run away screaming. BONUS, you can make extra money by driving in monster truck ralleys!
- I’m cold=> You have a Serengeti-themed Snuggie stowed at your desk for such occasions. You are so freaking fashionable, I’m jealous of you (me)!
I hate to complain about the weather, but that is certainly not going to stop me! Tuesday was slushy mess in the morning, followed by flooding in the afternoon. Yesterday was deceptive. I thought it was going to be dandy, minus watching out for patches of ice. Nope. It rained/snowed again, and then snowed again last night and a bit more this morning. Oh yes, the slushy mixes also make the heat in my car smell like overcooked ham for unknown reasons. I like ham, and wonder why my car can’t just smell like perfectly cooked ham?! Just another reason to hate winter…
Aside from a possible surprise snow shower this afternoon, I think we will remain dry until the wee hours of Friday morning. We will get another snow storm then, and likely another next Tuesday. No folks, I in fact, DO NOT live in the arctic circle.