THINGS I DON’T UNDERSTAND

Most of these are driving related.

1)  Valentine’s Day hate.

I don’t love or hate Valentine’s Day, I’m quite indifferent towards it. What I don’t understand is all this sudden animosity. I log into Facespace and all people can talk about is how much they hate it. I get it if you’re single and bitter, but you can always go out with friends and rock out. I just use it an excuse to get tasty food.


2) iPhone, iPad, iTampon

Android OS has been out for a long time, the iPhone is basically it’s retarded cousin. I mean, it was cool at first when there really wasn’t anything like it. Apple in general is obsolete, but thats what happens when people choose form over function. Oh yes, what is with the iPad and tablets as a whole? If you already have a touch screen smart phone, what in the hell is the point of getting a more cumbersome version that requires it’s own separate data plan? Really people?  I do like the iPod. Maybe they should just stick with that?


3) Why hasn’t Justin Keebler hasn’t hit puberty yet?

C’mon it’s seriously not normal to be 16 and still look and sound like a 10 year old girl. Your voice should have cracked by now,  you pompous little twerp! Hurry up, I want your career to end so we can move on to the next teenage train wreck.


4) People that are in such a hurry to cut you off while driving, only to slam on their breaks and creep along at a glacial pace.

This one is pretty self -explanatory.


5) Bike riders in the middle of the road instead of using a bike path or side walk.

I don’t want to be stuck behind you! Get in your car and pollute the Earth like the rest of us! As a matter of fact, I’m going to start a movement with an awesome bumper sticker I was going to make:

“Take a spin class or get a bus pass, jackass!”


6) People on my street that have really long driveways and 2 car garages.

Why in the fuck do insist on parking in the street?!


7) People that can’t park in general and suddenly forget the rules of the road while in parking lots.

It’s simple, if you can’t manage to fit your car between two parallel lines, your license should be revoked.  Also, just because you really need to buy Gloria Estefan jeans in bulk at Costco, doesn’t mean that the rules of the road don’t apply to the Costco parking lot, moron!


8 ) Algebra and geometry.

I took them in school and can confidently say they have never been relevant IRL.


9) Prince Whatshisname marrying Kate Beckinsale or something.

This is America, who gives a shit about England?


10) Diet soda.

If you are concerned enough about your weight and/or sugar intake, perhaps you shouldn’t drink soda at all. Diet soda tastes like poison extracted from the digestive tract of dead rat anyway.


11) Why I keep wanting to type “sode” instead of soda.

Really, self?


12) Movie remakes.

If you can’t think of an original idea, please DO NOT take something that may or may not have been successful in the 80s’ , add shit ton of CG, and release it again. Please, just leave it be. I’m so mad that they are going to remake Drop Dead Fred with that idiot Russell Brand, I’m seething over it. SEETHING!


13) Russell Brand

Thanks England, for bestowing your village idiot upon us. If I were President, I would nuke you!


14) “Top News” on the Facespace.

Can I disable this? I honestly don’t care about the “top news”, I only use the “most recent” feature when I’m bored enough to log in.

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6 Comments

Filed under annoyances, Uncategorized

6 responses to “THINGS I DON’T UNDERSTAND

  1. I feel self-centered saying this, but I get the odd feeling that I inspired some of this post. haha

    Have you watched this yet? I think you’ll love it.

  2. All things I don’t understand either! And they’re making a remake of Drop Dead Fred with RUSSEL BRAND?! *face palm*

  3. I do not understand the tablet craze. I have a laptop and a smart phone, why the fuck do I need some other bullshit to carry around with me?

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