While at the doctors office over the weekend, I ended up telling this story to the girl that was drawing my blood. My friend and I road-tripped to Baltimore last summer to visit her brother and sister-in-law. One night we wanted to go to this renovated power plant that now houses tons of bars. We turned too early, and found a parking garage that was like $20 cheaper than the one we were heading to.  We didn’t mind walking the extra blocks, but we were naive Bostonians that didn’t quite understand how quickly things can change from block to block in Baltimore. You could be strolling by a nice tourist area,then suddenly end up in the bad side of town with boarded up windows and scary people.

So anyway, we were near what looked like Baltimore’s own red light district. We didn’t really like the area once we left the parking garage because it seemed way to dark and ominous. Almost like the street lights couldn’t penetrate down the sidewalk. My friend pulled out a map, and my heart began to seize. There was a group of guys on a park bench across the street. They clearly knew that we didn’t belong there, and one of them began to eye ball us and made an approach. He then crossed our path, and went to sit at another bench with another group of guys to our right. Another guy got off the bench and began to walk toward us. I told my friend to put the map away, but we already had glow-in-the-dark targets on our foreheads. I couldn’t really understand what the guy was saying, the conversation went something like this:

Weird guy: “Are you good, are you good, are you good?”

* incoherent mumbling*

“feeling blue”

*more incoherent mumbling*

“sandwich” (?)

*even more incoherent mumbling*

“Are you good?”

Me: “We’re fine.”

I think our new friend was high on something and likely was mumbling to force us to lean in close to hear him. I slowly began to step backwards, treating the situation like I was about to be mauled by a bear. Thankfully, his friend on the bench told him to “leave them alone” and they let us retreat in peace. We swiftly (sprinted) walked back to the garage and fumbled with my friends purse for 20 minutes (30 seconds) trying to find our token to let us back into the garage. I think the garage toll collector knew all along that we weren’t going to stick around, and we didn’t have to pay for the 5 minutes we were there. We then went to the $25 parking garage, and made it to Howl at the Moon where I had a shot of whiskey and danced my face off to NKOTB.

Oh yes, the next morning we woke up to the sound of two gunshots.



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  1. I went to Baltimore once and saw some of these scary places. It was quite a change from the country life I was used to.

    And on a side note I once accidentally dropped a knife on my foot. It stuck into my foot straight up and stayed there. So I know what it feels like to be stabbed…in the foot.

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