I joined Yelp the other day to give a restaurant some constructive criticism, blame my Virgo-ness. Although most of my reviews are good, I am using it to get my 8th grade revenge (sorry, Mean Girls reference). With smaller places that I didn’t like, I was careful to include constructive criticism and not judge them too harshly. But the big places that have royally pissed me off for one reason or another, got put in their place.  Here is a snippet from one:

I’ll give it two stars because the food is good. The first time I went I had a good time. I got to mini bowl, yes MINI BOWL. It was pretty awesome.

Unfortunately,  I went back again on what I like to call “disco and dress-code Gestapo Saturdays” and it was my private hell. Disregarding the fact that we absolutely couldn’t move an inch to save our lives, my boyfriend was asked to check his Old Navy hooded sweatshirt by the dress code Gestapo. Yes, an Old Navy sweatshirt.  Also, it goes without saying that the zombie reincarnation of Stalin wearing an Old Navy hoodie probably had better odds of getting a table or a lousy string of bowling in before we did. Oh yes, and while I was continuously shuffled around to avoid being pushed, they seemed to pipe in a never ending stream of disco hits. I was dismayed to find that disco, in fact, didn’t die. It made me want to choke Donna Summer.

Moral of the story, don’t go on a weekend unless you’ve made a reservation 5 years in advance.

I also wanted to add this in regard to the hooded sweatshirt ordeal, but I figured the review was dripping with enough sarcasm already. I realize your anti-hooded sweatshirt crusade is a vain attempt at curbing gang warfare at your hoppin’ disco bowling establishment. You could remedy this by charging a small cover, thus eliminating the need to have a coat check for sweatshirts. No thug will pay a cover to stab someone when they simply wait in the parking lot and do it for FREE.

[EDIT:] The owner contacted me and offered us some passes to give them another try. That was really nice of him! Turns out, the hoodie thing was a request from patrons, not because the place happens to be in a town that has gang activity. We may give them another try. Thanks for caring, manager![/EDIT]



Filed under annoyances, funny, Uncategorized

6 responses to “YELP! I’M ADDICTED

  1. I like eating at restaurants less and less the more I watch shows like kitchen nightmares. I know that most places aren’t gross in the kitchen but it still makes me think about it.

  2. Super cool that they contacted you and filled you in on the hoodie situation.

    Also – the snark in that review is fantabulous!

  3. Haha damn! I would not want to be the restaurant that pisses you off! 😉

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