THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL (OR AT LEAST THE DAY ALL THE METEOROLOGISTS STARTED FREAKING THE FUCK OUT OVER A TINY TORNADO AND SOME IDDY-BITTY GOLF BALL HAIL.), I ORDER GLOW-IN THE-DARK GLITTER SHOES, SURVIVE A TORNADO, AND JOIN 20SB.

This post is about meteorologists. So help me God if you are one and reading my blog right now. I will rain on you with rusty knives, nasty stares, and gingivitis, jerk face! You callously disrupted my reruns of How I Met Your Mother and Seinfeld, for some tornado 90 miles away in towns with like the population of 5! What if I missed the episode when Marshall and Ted roadtrip in the Fiero and belt out I’m Gonna Be for 13 straight hours and end up spooning in the parking lot of a motel during a snow storm? What then!? How could you possibly compensate me for that time lost? You were too busy flipping your hair (okay you’re bald, but whatev), and looking at a colorful topographical map of “doom”. You, with your highly technical weather-related terms like “tornado” “hail” “high wind” “strap down lawn chairs”. O-M-G this tornado has clipped a few trees in half in Easterwestchestersonville, WHAT WILL WE DO WITHOUT THOSE 3 TREES AND THAT TRACTOR TRAILER IN EASTWESTCHESTERSONVILLE?!!!

Seriously though, everyone in the state was losing their shit over this. I mean, I know this tornado had no business being here. I suppose I should have gone out there and gently reminded my friend the tornado that he should really go back to his tornado friends and family in Topeka. They are a bit more hospitable with their fancy storm shelters, flat plains, and blaring tornado sirens. We just have musty basements with TV’s, canned Y2K cranberry sauce, and some Sam Adams. 

In other news, I have joined 20SB and ordered some glow in the dark glitter shoes from Katherine. Thankfully, I did not order any red glitter shoes and decide to become a munchkin-loving rainbow-hopper, though that would have been quite ironic. 

[EDIT] Okay, I guess some people died, maybe it was a little more serious than I thought. That just makes me a jerk [/EDIT]

Tornado?

I also survived a tornado today. I'm such a fucking champion, seriously! Only everyone else in the state survived. I deserve a medal.

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3 Comments

Filed under annoyances, fun, Uncategorized

3 responses to “THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL (OR AT LEAST THE DAY ALL THE METEOROLOGISTS STARTED FREAKING THE FUCK OUT OVER A TINY TORNADO AND SOME IDDY-BITTY GOLF BALL HAIL.), I ORDER GLOW-IN THE-DARK GLITTER SHOES, SURVIVE A TORNADO, AND JOIN 20SB.

  1. Hahaha. My friend that moved to New Jersey was gchatting me yesterday and was all OMG THEY ARE FREAKING THE FUCK OUT ABOUT THIS STUPID TORNADO WATCH and then we laughed about it because we’re from Iowa and we have tornado watches all the time. Warnings are a bit different though. Also: tornadoes are scary. I’d like to watch one from a reasonably safe distance someday. But I’d be okay if I never get the chance because that would mean that I would not be in danger of a tornado ruining my life.

    Also that episode of HIMYM was, like, the very first one I ever saw. Clearly we’re soulmates. Or something.

    • Yeah, we saw footage and apparently it was more serious than I thought. I guess out in the western part of the state some people died. Crazy!!

      Anyway, we are clearly soulmates! It’s actually my favorite episode of HIMYM 🙂

  2. carly

    Just realized the Japanese/Brazilian boy I liked is in the background of the pic of your leg at the pool, still have his number! I’d call him next time I’m in Vegas August 21ish but he lives in LA, rawr

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