NEUROTIC TO THE BONE, NO DOUBT ABOUT IT.

My boyfriend decided it would be a good idea to co-host a backyard BBQ with our upstairs neighbors. Good thing nobody asked me first, my reply would have been “no thanks”. Having lived at home most of my life, hosting isn’t something I have a ton of experience with, or desire to do. When my parents took vacations, I never hosted parties there. I just didn’t feel like cleaning up after, figuring out what to do for food, and “activities”. Maybe the fact I lack the party-throwing gene makes me an ass, or unsocial. While I know I’m not unsocial, I just prefer going to a party rather than throwing one with random people. I don’t know if I can argue the not being an ass part. ūüėČ

¬†Seeing as how I’m used to mostly attending parties, I feel there are major holes in hosting capabilities. I know I’m definitely not doing this alone, but I still have some anxiety towards it. I think it’s the lack of control and the fact I can’t leave my own party.

Will there be enough food? WILL EVERYONE BE BORED? What in the hell will we even talk about?! Will there be random people tramping through my apartment with their dirty sneakers? Will it rain (HOLY FUCK, I MAY DROP DEAD FROM ANXIETY IF IT RAINS AND I HAVE ALL THESE PEOPLE IN MY APARTMENT AND ONLY 5 CHAIRS!!)? Will someone¬†accidentally¬†leave the gate open so my dog can run away? Will someone throw up all over my bathroom? How long will it take me to clean my apartment on Sunday with a crazy hangover? Will a neighbor call the cops from the noise? Will the creepy douchenstein across the street invite himself over and take a large dump in my backyard (again)?¬†Ugh, I’m so not cut-out for party hosting more than a handful of people.

I thought writing out this post would make me realize how ridiculous I sound, but I’ve¬†successfully¬†made myself feel worse. High five, team self!¬†Hopefully I’ll survive this fiasco without rain, ¬†shit, and vomit everywhere. Am I asking too much? Even if I do make it through, please don’t ask me to host your friends cousins next “Doggie Comes Out of the Closet” party.¬†

Is it too late to retract my RSVP?

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10 Comments

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10 responses to “NEUROTIC TO THE BONE, NO DOUBT ABOUT IT.

  1. I LOVE to host get-togethers and work to make them fun and comfortable for my guests. It’s completely okay that you’d rather be an attendee than host. Hosts need attendees!

    I think it’s great that as a non-host you’re putting so much thought into this. I have a friend who is notorious for showing up to parties and eating and drinking all that he could, going for only the best of the best, too.
    So when he got his first place he was excited to finally be able to host a party himself. But it was kinda lame. You see, he didn’t realize or appreciate all that goes into hosting. He didn’t have enough food, fun things to do, barely any alcohol (and hid his best so people wouldn’t drink it) and he kept going on and on about what he provided costing so much. Ugh. And he never seemed to connect the dots that he was actually being super cheap and lame when he expects and takes advantage of so much from others’ parties.

    As far as all of your worrying, here’s a few answers to your questions:
    – As far as food, make sure you have hearty food on hand – like meats, breads, etc. Not just sugary, non-substantial snacks & sweets. People drink a lot and get sick when they don’t have any hearty food to help absorb the alcohol. People may even offer to bring something, take ’em up on it! You could even say it’s kinda like a potluck and/or BYOB.
    – Put out a deck of cards? A corn hole set? Darts? If you set anything of the like out casually invite guests to partake so they know it’s okay for them to use. Otherwise let the alochol and relaxed environment do the rest as far as what people will do and talk about.
    – Set an example of leaving shoes at the door, shut all doors except maybe the bathroom/turn lights off except necessary ones to see their way the bathroom, put away anything you don’t want out/people to use and mess up, anything to help make the message clear that the party is outside not in your house.
    – Cancel if it rains. Or if you don’t, less people will probably come so that would mean less people in your space . . .
    – Tie your dog up, shut in a room, bring out on leash . . .
    – How old are the people coming? Adults act more responsibly and won’t be like teenagers so your ‘puking all over the bathroom’ and dirty sneakers shouldn’t be a big concern.
    – As a host you may not even drink that much therefore not ending up with a hangover – I’m usually too busy watching over the party to drink. Plus if it’s outside then less clean up inside! Clean up as you go!
    – Noise? Again, how old are the guests? Keep any music to a low volume just as background noise and people won’t have to talk over it.
    – I am a little stumped on the neighbor across the street concern. Hmm, maybe say your hosting a party on behalf of someone else so it’s not your guest list? Or that you only planned on a certain number, sorry, maybe next time?

    Let us know how it goes!

    • Wow, thanks so much for the well-thought advice! I think it will only be adults at the party, I guess my concerns would only arise if someone has had too much to drink and starts acting out. Good idea about keeping the music low, I will certainly try that.
      As for the creepy neighbor, the upstairs neighbors are the ones that had the “encounter” with him. I’m hoping he wouldn’t have the audacity to return to the scene of the crime, if he does we’ll have lots of people to assist with removing him from the party.
      Thanks again, I appreciate it!

  2. This is why I don’t host parties!

    • I’m just too much of a neat-freak to have a ton of people over at once. I had fun at first, but towards the end of the evening I felt like I was just chasing people with trash bags. hahaha!

  3. Don’t worry, I’m good at keeping punks inline. Unless I’m the punk, then I’m sorry. Good cookout by the way! I call it a success!

    • Thanks, Zorro didn’t sleep much. Which means he was nice and calm through Sunday. He slept on my feet while I was watching men’s Olympic water polo on the couch. Success!

  4. lol well i hope the party turned out better than you anticipated

  5. I like to think I’m okay at hosting things and I really like feeding people cause I’m Italian and that’s just how I am and have you eaten enough?! You sure you don’t want cheese? I could make popcorn….

    But, I still freak about all that stuff too. I still freak about a friend coming in the front door and throwing the door open wide and letting one of my many critters escape or that someone will get sick from something I made or that there will be massive disasters all over the place. I’m a spazz.

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