MY SMART PHONE IS TOO SMART

I think it’s about time I come to terms with the fact my phone is stalking me. I can’t deny it anymore! In the morning it’s all like “29 Minutes to Work (1 minute less than usual)” and in the afternoon it’s all like “32 Minutes to Home (2 minutes more than usual)”. I guess this I can (sort of) understand because I set my home and work address in Google Maps. But it knows other shit too and I’m not sure how! Yesterday, it sent me two notifications that I should leave for the Queen concert by 7:02PM to make it on time. Ummm…thanks? On the way home from the show, it told me to avoid a certain street home due to road work. Well phone, maybe I wasn’t going home! What do you think of that?!

It’s done the time to/from work for a while know. I never thought much of it because I preset the Google map settings. But it started to freak me out when I went to Vegas and it knew what flight I was on and when I was aboard the plane. It also sent me a kindly reminder to leave by 6:10PM in order to make our dinner reservation. I never told my phone this info! Next time I’m on a plane, or going to a concert, I’m totally taking a screenshot of these notifications. I should change my phones name to “Pat”, since it’s acting like Katy Sagal in Smart House

Smart-House-Weather

I wonder if I injure myself if it will ask me “does it hurt like the dickens, baby?”

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Filed under annoyances, funny, random

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