Under normal circumstances, I probably wouldn’t need to wear a winter jacket anymore. Under normal circumstances we wouldn’t still be getting weekly or bi-weekly snow flurries. But apparently this winter of my discontent, and it’s like the Lamb Chop theme song that NEVER ENDS! But today, I quit dressing for the cold. I have all these cute new slip-on shoes I’ve been waiting to try, and DOGGERN IT, I’M MAKING IT HAPPEN! I mean, I’ll probably have to have some toes amputated from frostbite by the end of the week, but whatever. I’ll just sue Mother Nature for this unnecessary bullshit and get moneyz for some new toes.
I get it’s April Fool’s Day and all, but I really don’t appreciate people posting bogus weather reports saying we’re getting a blizzard soon. Um, fuck you. This never-ending winter story, is something you don’t fuck with! OK? Next time someone posts it, I will be ready to stab you in the eyeballs with 1 million needles. So back off with the snow business, jerks! Speaking of bogus weather, I know a lot of sites are doing April Fools things, like Amazon and com.Google. But when I logged onto weather.com, I got this bullshit:
I was pretty sure this had to be a joke, so I clicked on it. Honestly folks, I don’t think it is. BUT, it doesn’t mention a thing about the Northeast, so I’m not mad! Err…sorry for you people in the south and midwest though.