D-DAY

Well folks, it’s the most dreaded day of the year. It’s the day all the asshole* college kids return to school and basically ruin my life. That is, until they take a brief reprieve during December/January break. But till then, the bars will be over-crowded with bros, and not a parking spot open within a fifty mile radius. I’ll have to dodge various moving trucks and sofas in the middle of street on my ride home today. Why does my city have to be such a college hub? I’d prefer they disperse them around the country a bit, so other people can feel our pain.

I guess I should just be grateful my neighborhood is mostly filled with old people and young professionals. But, please pray that my Notre Dame neighbors move today. SERIOUSLY, PRAY FOR ME! They aren’t college kids [and to be honest they probably couldn’t get into college even if they tied a brand new 60 million dollar university library to their belts]. Otherwise I may take a machete to tear out their vocal cords and tie their arms to a pole so they can’t fight eachother in my driveway anymore.

*Unless it’s a college student I’m related too, I don’t know you and therefore don’t like you. So go to college some place far away from us!

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