I was reminiscing the other night, about the weirdest New Years Eve I’ve had (thus far). Picture it, Natick, 2007ish. I was either in college, or fresh out. Andy was invited to this house party from a vague acquaintance. This friend lived at the house.
Andy and one of his friends had already arrived at party, before I got there. I parked my car on the dead end street and began walking around trying to find the house. Strange occurance one, I almost walked into the wrong home. I saw a man from the neck down with Andy’s build through a window wearing a shirt Andy owns. I was about to open the door, when I realized the house was much too quiet to be a party. Also, Andy thankfully had called me back at the his point. He was waiting for me outside.
So we started things off with some pitch black beer pong in the driveway. 90% of the game was spent trying to find the ping pong balls in the dark. There was also a sketchy ice luge. Oh joy! So after a failed attempt at blind beer pong, we ventured indoors, through a backdoor made of ply wood. So safe!
Once inside, we found Andy’s friend he arrived with, in the living room watching a Three Stooges marathon. There was also an elder poker game happening in the next room, that we weren’t allowed to disturb under any circumstances. Wtf? So we decided to hang out in the freezing cold kitchen. It turns out, plywood doors aren’t terribly insulating, who would have thought?!
I had to use the bathroom. That was an adventure in itself. It was located next to the plywood backdoor. It also had a sliding door, sporting a large hole in it. Glad to see these people value privacy. So Andy had to stand in front of the bathroom for me. At some point, we met the other roomates. They are are crackhead married couple. Anyone surprised? At this point, I wasn’t.
They were nice enough though. But Andy turned down the offer to be their new roommate, and share a bedroom with his friend. Praise Jesus! Then a guy resembling a hippie wacky waving inflatable tube man, entered the kitchen with his deck of Tarot cards. He gave people free readings in an animated matter. I can only vaguely imitate him, and that would be in person. Words only fail to describe his persona.
At some point, I met Andy’s friend that was hosting the party. He was actually LEAVING HIS OWN PARTY to attend another one. Duhfuck?! It was getting close to midnight at this point. But nobody was doing a countdown. So I left shortly after, mostly because I had to pee again, and didn’t want to use the glory hole bathroom.
Andy walked me back to my car, I parked towards the start of the street. The house was toward the end. There was a man in the front yard that was chuckling, “crazy party, right?” I said yeah, and continued to slowly walk to my car with Andy. Then the guy (who I assumed was a party goer, but actually was the next door neighbor) flipped a switch and started yelling at us about a car blocking part of his driveway. I was like, “I don’t live here and/or care. Call the cops or something, I’m leaving.” The guy didn’t seem to like this solution, or the more obvious answer of going in the house and asking about the car. So yup, definitely one for the books, or blog.