FRIENDS > FAMILY

Ye be warned, this is a wedding-related rant post that I just need to get off my darn chest.

One of my favorite cousins will not be attending my wedding next month. I cannot hide how hurt I am. She is basically like another sister to me growing up. Though, we definitely don’t see each other very often these days. Apparently it’s more important to attend her friends 2nd or 3rd marriage, that she was JUST ASKED to be in a few weeks back. As an aside, I asked people to be in my wedding before I even had a venue picked. Also, I sent my invites out in June, so she definitely knew about my wedding. She  kinda screwed over my Maid of Honor with my Bachelorette plans (which she knew about 4-5 months in advance), by backing out 2 weeks before the party. She never even contacted me after to explain why she couldn’t go. So instead of tossing her check in the trash that she sent as a gift, I’m going to cash it and give the money to my MOH to try to recoup the cost she ate for her not going to the Bachelorette party.

I’m truly very hurt she would choose to only attend her friends umpteenth wedding, instead of going to both. I practically begged her to try to catch the tail end of my wedding, despite the fact it would take her 2 1/2 hours to get to me. I would also like to clarify, I’m not a diva by any means. But it’s a big day for me, and I never imagined she wouldn’t be there for it.

I also get the impression she hasn’t even checked with her friend if it’s okay for her to leave after dinner or something during the reception. I would assume, if she truly wanted to go to my wedding, she would have told her friend that she needed to go to both and plan accordingly. Judging by our conversations, I don’t think she even told her friend the scheduling conflict.

I am just truly hurt by this whole situation. I hope she comes to her senses and figures out a way to catch the back end of my reception. If not, I just don’t think I can speak to her ever again.  I hate that sometimes it takes a wedding to weed out people that clearly mean a lot more to you, than you to do them. It’s a sucky situation, no use in dwelling on it. 

Edited to add, I would 100% understand if the arrangements to be in this friends wedding, had happened months and months ago. I would definitely not be as hurt about it had the timing been much different.  Also, forgot to mention, I was IN her freaking wedding years ago. 

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7 Comments

Filed under annoyance, annoyances, rant, Uncategorized, wedding

7 responses to “FRIENDS > FAMILY

  1. I understand how hurt you must be. Have you asked her why she has chosen to go to her friend’s 3rd wedding? There could be some reason that she is not sharing. I hope you can work it out and not completely cut ties with someone who has obviously meant so much to you over the years.

    • She knows at this point how hurt I am, and still doesn’t seem to be putting forth effort to go to both weddings. Side note, not sure if it’s actually the friends 3rd marriage, but I know it’s at least her 2nd. I can’t pretend to be okay with her decision, so if she doesn’t turn up (even if it’s just for 15 mins), I just don’t see the point in trying to maintain a relationship. I know that is a bit harsh, but I feel like she really isn’t putting forth effort to go.

      • I guess I am just suggesting that you specifically ask her why. Sometimes, being blunt and up front is the only way to get to the truth. I hate to see broken relationships, especially over something like a wedding which should be a happy occasion. (I’m speaking from family experiences.)

      • Ah ok. Well to summarize what she said, it’s basically that her friends wedding is more important to her. I feel if she really wanted to go to my wedding, she would have accepted being in her friends wedding and tell her friend that she also has to make arrangements to go to mine after dinner or something.

      • Ok. I can see how that would be upsetting. I still hope things work out, but understand. Especially since you sent out your invitations way before her friend. I’m sorry and hope this does NOT put a damper on your wedding! You need to enjoy your day and the people who did make an effort to be there and celebrate your love for your husband with you.

  2. Thanks! No, it will not put a damper on my wedding. It’s on her at this point, I already told her how upset I am. I’m going to wait until after the wedding to tell my mom what has transpired, as I don’t really want to cause family drama.

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