Tag Archives: funny

HAIL TO THE BUS DRIVER

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I was having trouble sleeping the other night, when I suddenly flashed back to grade school. We had the coolest bus driver! Rose was a bit of a rule breaker. While she always hollered at us to sit down and face straight ahead, she also allowed us to do some fun/questionable things.

We had a huge hill near my bus stop, and a couple of people that lived on top of it. So after they were dropped off, we were allowed to play “rollercoaster”. “Rollercoaster” is when Rose would barrel down the hill, and move the wheel back and forth slightly. We were all supposed to raise our arms. I swear it’s probably not as unsafe as it sounds, I don’t recall the bus actually going that fast. But it was fun anyway!

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Probably the best part of having Rose as our driver, was the squirt gun fight on the last day of school. I never owned a Super Soaker squirt gun, so I was at a huge disadvantage. The only kind of squirt gun I had, was the tiny sort that came in a goody bag at a friends 10th birthday. Nothing that could hold more than 3 drops of water. I usually opted out of the squirt gun fight for these reasons. There was a designated “no squirt zone” in the front of the bus, so you could opt out. 

The kids on my bus were PREPARED for this, like no other day. They rounded up crazy-looking squirt guns that came with backpack water storage. Of course, we weren’t allowed to bring these items into the school. So the squirt guns were stored on the bus, until we all piled back on that afternoon. Even though I was seated on the edge of the “no squirt zone”, I still got nailed IN THE EYE from my neighbors squirt gun. I was so mad, my eye hurt like hell. I got home and my mom could tell I was furious, so she called my neighbors mom and he got into trouble. HAHA! My eye was bloodshot for a while, but no harm done. 

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Filed under adventures, annoyance, annoyances, childhood, friends, fun, funny

RAGRETS: I HAVE ONE

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I came across this wonderful photo of myself, and started laughing. It got me thinking about a time I got my make up done. As much as I love cosmetics, I always opt to do my own makeup. But I decided to have a “treat yo self” moment, and got it done while on vacation. This was a mistake, I wish I had saved my money! 

I got it done because I was in Vegas, and we had a party that night. I wanted to look good, and always wanted try it. I guess my mistake was having this done in Vegas. I think when you get your makeup done in Vegas, they will typically go heavy, instead of just regular glam. I didn’t know that I had to specify not to go too heavy with it, but I didn’t. At the end of it, I felt like Denis O’Hare as Liz Taylor. Except Denis O’Hare pulled that look off 100x better than I ever could. 

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So, what did I do? I pretended for the makeup artists sake that I loved it. But in actuality, I had to stifle a gasp. I looked like a child prostitute! Maybe this look would have been fine on another person, but it didn’t look good on me.

The moment I left, I was wandering the halls of my hotel with my sunglasses on. Thankfully nobody questions you about wearing sunglasses indoors in Vegas. People just assume you’re hung over, or drunk. I quickly walked back to my room to do damage control. I ripped off the fake lashes, threw on mascara instead. Used my supply of Q-Tips to thin the eyeliner, and touched up the parts I took off. I didn’t let anyone see me with my full-makeup look before I had to fix it, by taking most of it off. I mean, maybe I didn’t actually look as garish as I thought. It could just be I wasn’t used to seeing myself with quite this much on. I’m by no means a stranger to makeup (HELLO, COME SEE MY EYE SHADOW STASH. IT’S NUTS!). But I try not to go crazy with it, unless it’s Halloween. Next time, I will be blatant tell the make up artist not to use excessive liner and shadow on me. YIKES

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Filed under annoyance, annoyances, beauty, beauty blogger, funny, lol, vacation, vegas

ARE YOU A NAHHHC?

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Despite DST screwing me over this weekend, I had a lot of fun. On Saturday night, I finally met up with Jamie and Emily for a night in the town. We went to a Korean BBQ restaurant where our food was made at the table. I thought we would cook it ourselves, like for hotpot. But I guess not. I didn’t really mind, it was nice to not stress if the chicken was cooked enough. They also gave us a TON of sides! We only sampled a few of them, but left most at the table. It was a fun experience, and I will definitely try it again.

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After the restaurant, we went for some drinks at Patron’s. At first it was pretty chill, but then this group of 40 year old dudes wouldn’t leave us alone. One of them said he was about to go outside to smoke weed. He asked if we wanted to join. I was all, thats a “puff, puff, PASS”, on that one bro. I really had to resist the urge to ask him, “are you, or are you not, a nahhhhc?” If you haven’t seen the movie, The Heat, you probably won’t get my reference. I’m sure the stalker guy wouldn’t have gotten it. He never actually left to smoke either. Believe us, we watched! After that, we needed to make a quick exit.

Thankfully, we weren’t followed. But we just started jogging down the street. We ended up at a bar, that happened to be hosting an event for the hearing impaired. It took us a second to realize what was going on. There was a man on stage with raffle tickets, signing the numbers. Also, groups of people were sitting on folding chairs. We were going to leave, but Emily had to use the bathroom. So we quietly made our way to the bathroom. Then we swiftly exited the bar, we didn’t want to disrupt the event. We also didn’t want to let-on that we stumbled in accidentally. 

After that mishap, we made our way to Lulu’s for a couple of drinks. I love Lulu’s, the food is also fantastic. From Lulu’s, we made our way to Deep Ellum. Everyone was super-nice in Deep Ellum, it was a nice break from the 40 yr old stalkers at Patron’s. We stayed there for a bit longer, since we were enjoying the atmosphere. Jamie and i may have stilen a few sugar cubes from the bar, when nobody was looking. At this point, we went to 4 different places. But no night would be complete without a trip to The Drop (insert confetti emoji)!

Andy was there with his friends waiting for us.  I also ran into my friend Lil, it was great to see her! It was a crapshoot as usual. Loads of drunk guys in our way. Andy was playing pool with an odd fellow. I nicknamed him Moon-River and he appeared to be dressed in (what looked like) his great grandfathers burial pajamas. It was the strangest thing! It was a white shirt, that was super long and tattered. It also had a super deep V, so we could see Moon-River’s chest hair. GROSS. The bouncer got a kick out of my snarkiness. 

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Filed under adventures, annoyance, annoyances, awesome, beer, clothes, cooking, dance, dinner, drinking, drinks, food, friends, fun, funny, lol, random, weekend

I WILL TAKE BLIND AL’S SWEATER COLLECTION, PLEASE!

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I saw Deadpool last night with Ginny, Fiona, and Derek. Before the movie, we went to Bar Louie for dinner. I was torn between the mac & cheese and fried chicken sandwich. The fried chicken sandwich won out, bonus I could swap the fries for tater tots. I think I made a very wise dinner choice, it was yummy!

Anyway, the movie itself was really good. It’s nice to have a break from the typical style of super hero movies. Which are more on the serious side over clever dialogue. Deadpool was actually hilarious! Some parts, I totally forgot I was watching an anti-superhero movie. Blind Al, has a seriously fabulous sweater collection. I first noticed her purple husky (or malamute, hard to say) sweater. I squeeled in my seat, thinking I must get one! Of course I couldn’t find the exact sweater she wore, but I did find something similar. Since I’m a shopaholic, I’ll probably end up getting it. Then Zorro can be embarassed to be seen with me. Haha!

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Filed under adventures, animals, awesome, clothes, dog, fashion, friends, fun, funny, movies

NOT JUST A HUSKADOR ANYMORE!

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For shits and gigs, Andy bought a DNA kit for dogs. When we adopted Zorro, we didn’t have much background on him. The vet office we got him from, said he is a husky/shepherd mix. I didn’t really believe in the shepherd part, as I couldn’t see any of that in him. But I could tell by certain traits, he is a husky and lab. I didn’t realize how much more the test would reveal! The results came with profiles of each breed that Zorro is and a family tree.

The English Springer Spaniel and Golden Retriever were pretty random. I don’t really see those breeds in his physical appearance. But I’m glad to know I was right about him being part lab! It’s pretty apparent from his tree that he about 50% husky. The rest, is broken up between the lab, golden, and English spaniel. Pretty cool! I always called him a Huskador as a joke. Looks like I will have to start calling him a Golden Huskaspanieldor!

We also ordered a kit for my parents dog. We don’t know what breeds she is either, aside from German Shepherd. But she is super fluffy and agile, so I think she may have some Aussie Shepherd in her as well. We shall see, the fun part will be trying to get the DNA swab from her mouth. haha

 

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Filed under dog, fun, Uncategorized

LITTLE TONY MONTANA

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This is Zorro, don’t let that sweet face fool you for a second!

My dog loves the snow and the cold. That should come as no surprise since he is a husky mix. It snowed a little bit here on Sunday night. It was late when I let Zorro out, so I wanted to change and go to bed. But Little Tony Montana had other plans for me! After I had changed into my jammies, I went to the back to corral my dog back inside.

He was having none of this! I found him using his nose as a plow and driving the snow. When he finally looked up at me, he had a pile of snow on his snout. He is lucky that he is cute, because I wasn’t going to chase after him in the snow during the wee hours. I just wish I had my phone handy, he did look really cute with snow covering his face. I’m glad one creature in the house enjoys snow, because I just want to hibernate or move to Mars. 

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Filed under animals, dog, random, snow, weekend

HAZARD OF HANGING OUT WITH ME

Finally, on to the 5th day of my long-weekend adventures! A friend of ours was visiting from AZ with his wife to be. I haven’t seen them in a while, so it was nice to catch up. We met up at a sports bar so we could watch the Pats game. It was annoying that they lost, but at least we got to catch up.
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I got some yummy pub grub and Harpoon Winter Warmer. After that, I cat-ifyed my friend! It’s a hazard of hanging out with me, I will take your picture and add shit loads of cats to it.
 I’m struggling to stay awake at work today. I stayed out later than I had anticipated last night. I went to a friends 21st birthday party. I think he had a good time because as we were exiting the bar, he got “jelly legs” and couldn’t stand up anymore. There is a blog post about this coming up, but I’m too lazy to do that now.
Anyway, I woke up late this morning, but still managed to shave my legs, get gas, and go to Dunkins without being late for work. I don’t know how I do this, but obviously I’m losing time someplace. So and I could [in theory] wake up later. Oh well. Looking forward to the weekend. I have two more parties to go to, one of which is my friends birthday party. Should be fun, I just have to remember to bring my sweet bowling shoes.

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Filed under adventures, animals, cats, fall, food, football, friends, fun, funny, weekend